Ally Heroes: Meet Mama Bears founder Liz Dyer

The LGBTQIA+ community has always needed allies, and today we're celebrating someone who's had a profound impact of the lives of thousands of individuals. Meet Liz Dyer (she/her) founder of the wonderful organization known as Real Mama Bears. Read on to be inspired and encouraged.

Hello Liz! We met about a decade ago through our work in the Where True Love Is movement, and have watched your efforts with deep appreciation. Thanks so much for agreeing to chat with us about your experiences as founder of Real Mama Bears. Now on to the questions!

You've been doing this work for a long time. Does Pride feel different this year?

Yes, it does. Every Pride season has its own emotional landscape. Some years I find myself reflecting mostly on the progress made, the victories won and celebrated, the lives that have been changed because people had the courage to stand up and speak out. This year definitely feels different.

I’m thinking much more about the work that still needs to be done. I’m thinking about families with transgender children who have spent the last few years under relentless political and cultural attack. I’m thinking about parents trying to navigate fear while also trying to help their children feel safe, loved, and hopeful.

Pride has always been both a celebration and a protest. This year, for me, it leans a little more toward the protest. We celebrate because joy is an act of resistance, but we also recommit ourselves to the work because too many people are still fighting simply for the right to exist as themselves.

One of your recent posts reads: "Love is bigger, wider, and more beautiful than many of us were taught." This resonates profoundly with the work Declan and I do. You also said "Love is a very mystical and wondrous entity." Can you expand on these concepts?

I think many of us were given a very small definition of love. We were taught that love has conditions, boundaries, categories, and limits and that it should be reserved for certain people and withheld from others. But the longer I’ve lived, the more convinced I’ve become that love is far bigger than that. Love isn’t diminished when it’s shared more generously. It expands us. It softens us. It invites us into lives and experiences we never imagined.

When I call love mystical, I mean that it changes us in ways we can’t always explain. Love has a way of dissolving fear, expanding empathy, growing courage, and opening doors that logic alone cannot.

Being the mother of a gay son didn’t simply teach me how to love my own child more deeply. It transformed the way I see humanity. It widened my heart. It introduced me to extraordinary people I never would have known otherwise. It made my world richer, more colorful, and infinitely more beautiful.

It sounds corny and maybe even naive, but I still believe that love is the answer.

A gorgeous statement, and we completely agree.

Like the Where True Love Is movement, Real Mama Bears has been accused of having a 'radical agenda." How do you respond to statements like this?

If loving and protecting LGBTQ+ people is considered radical, then I’m perfectly comfortable wearing that label. If believing every child deserves to grow up knowing they are loved exactly as they are is radical, if believing people should be able to live honestly without fear is radical, if believing LGBTQ+ people deserve the same dignity, safety, rights, and opportunities as everyone else is radical, then yes, that’s my agenda.

History has a funny way of treating people who were once called radicals. Many of the ideas we now consider obvious, such as racial equality, women’s rights, marriage equality, were once dismissed as dangerous or extreme.

At the end of the day, my agenda is actually very simple: love people well and help create a world where everyone can live authentically and safely.

You've stated that queer authenticity requires courage. Tell us more about that.

For many LGBTQ+ people, authenticity is often a risk. When someone comes out, they’re often stepping into uncertainty. They may not know whether they’ll be accepted by their family, welcomed by their church, supported at work, or even safe in their own community. Most people never have to wonder whether simply telling the truth about who they are might cost them relationships, housing, employment, or belonging.

That’s one reason I admire LGBTQ+ people so deeply. They remind us that authenticity isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. Every person who chooses honesty over hiding makes the world a little safer for the person who comes after them.

You said, “Some of the best weddings are gay weddings.” Why do you think that is?

I’ve been to a lot of weddings, and there’s something uniquely joyful about many same-sex weddings. I think part of it is that many couples know what it’s like to wonder whether they would ever be allowed to marry at all. They remember a time when that future felt impossible. So when that day finally arrives, there’s often an extraordinary sense of gratitude woven into every moment - the vows, the laughter, the tears, and the celebration itself. You sense a lot of gratitude not just for each other, but for the journey, the resilience, and the love that made that day possible. And that kind of gratitude transforms a wedding into something extra powerful: a true celebration of love in its fullest, most beautiful form.

Our wedding was filled with the kinds of things you've mentioned, and gratitude was woeven in to every piece which made it so beautiful. Thank you for this lovely summary.

Real Mama Bears began in 2014. At any point in the twelve years of its existence did you dare hope it wouldn’t always be needed? Do you have that hope now?

Absolutely. When marriage equality became the law of the land, I honestly wondered if maybe we were entering a new chapter. I knew there would always be families who needed support, but I thought perhaps the hardest battles were behind us. I even allowed myself to imagine that organizations like Real Mama Bears might one day become less necessary. I wasn’t prepared for the backlash from the conservative christian camp. And I wasn’t prepared for the coordinated efforts to erase transgender people from public life, to restrict their healthcare, ban books, censor teachers, and make families feel afraid again.

So yes, I still hope there will come a day when organizations like ours aren’t needed. I hope there comes a time when every LGBTQ+ child grows up knowing they are loved, protected, and celebrated without question. But we’re clearly not there yet.

Until that day comes, we’ll keep showing up. Because every child deserves at least one adult who will stand beside them and say, “You don’t have to face this alone" and every LGBTQ+ person deserves to live wholeheartedly as their true authentic self without fear or hesitation.

Could you share a favorite memory of an encounter you had?

There are so many moments that have stayed with me over the years, but one that I’ll never forget happened when a transgender girl was elected homecoming queen at her high school as a joke.

Some parents wanted the school to have another election but the principal said "no, it was a fair election." So she and her mom were bracing for protests and hostility. There were concerns about what might happen that night and whether she would even feel safe walking onto the football field.

When Mama Bears heard about it, we got in touch and offered to show up and stand with her and her mom. They said "YES!" So we showed up and filled the stands wearing our Mama Bear shirts. We cheered louder than anyone else. We held signs. We hugged. And when that young trans girl walked onto that field to receive her crown she didn’t walk alone, she walked knowing there were people there with her and for her, people who wanted her to know she was loved exactly as she was. Afterward, her mom told us that our presence changed everything.

That’s what Mama Bears do. We can’t solve every problem, but sometimes simply showing up changes the story.

My gosh. You are SO quotable!

The culture-shifting comedy series Schitt's Creek wrapped up in 2019, and Real Mama Bears penned a letter thanking the cast and crew for their wonderful depiction of queer people and relationships. The missive was signed by 1800 moms, and was read aloud as part of a documentary titled Best Wishes, Warmest Regards: A Schitt’s Creek Farewell. What impact did that event have on the organization, and on you personally? Is there anything you wished you'd said that you didn't?

It had a tremendous impact and far more than we ever imagined. When we wrote that letter, our only goal was to thank the cast, writers, and creators of Schitt’s Creek for giving LGBTQ+ people and their families such a beautiful, affirming story. We simply wanted them to know that their work mattered.

We never expected the letter to become part of Best Wishes, Warmest Regards: A Schitt’s Creek Farewell. When the documentary aired, thousands of LGBTQ+ people and thousands of parents and family members discovered Real Mama Bears for the first time. Our community grew dramatically, and that was incredibly meaningful because every new family we reach has the potential to change the life of an LGBTQ+ person.

I’ve always believed that supporting families is one of the most powerful ways to create lasting change. When parents are equipped with the tools, encouragement, and confidence to fully love and affirm their LGBTQ+ children, that love ripples outward into families, schools, workplaces, faith communities, and neighborhoods. The growth that followed the documentary meant we were able to support and empower thousands more families, and that’s what excited me most.

Personally, the experience reinforced something I’ve come to believe over the years: never underestimate the power of gratitude. We weren’t asking for anything. We were simply saying thank you. To see that simple act of gratitude resonate so deeply with the cast and with viewers around the world was both humbling and inspiring.

As for whether there’s anything I wish I’d said differently, honestly, no. The letter reflected exactly what was in our hearts. It wasn’t my letter alone, it represented the voices of thousands of Mama Bears, and together we expressed our gratitude for a story that helped LGBTQ+ people feel seen and helped families imagine what unconditional love can look like. I wouldn’t change a word.

If you could reach all the queer people in America right now, what would you say to them?

I would want every LGBTQ+ person to know this: Who you are is not a mistake. There is nothing wrong you, nothing wrong with the way your heart loves or the way your soul knows itself.

I know many of you are tired. I know some of you are carrying fear, disappointment, and exhaustion from hearing people debate your right to exist. Please don’t let the loudest voices convince you they are the only voices. There are millions of us who see your beauty. Who celebrate your authenticity. Who are showing up and raising our voices because we believe your life has immeasurable value.

So, please keep becoming more fully yourself. Keep creating. Keep laughing. Keep loving. Keep dreaming. Keep taking up space. And on the days when you don’t have the strength to believe in yourself, borrow our belief in you until yours returns. Because...

You are deeply loved. You are wonderfully needed. And you are not alone. ❤️

What a way to wrap up.

Thanks again, Liz, for sharing your heart and your time. Your story shows readers that each of us can make a positive difference in the world, from right where we sit.

---

About Liz Dyer and Real Mama Bears

Liz Dyer (she/her) is a writer, speaker, activist and founder of the Real Mama Bears organization. Liz started the Facebook group “Serendipitydodah - Home of the Mama Bears” with about 150 moms of LGBTQ+ kids in 2014 and today the group has more than 40,000 members. And, that one group has grown into an organization with more than 60 chapters, 8 more private groups and 7 programs serving the LGBTQ+ community. In addition to being featured in numerous news articles and podcasts, the Real Mama Bears organization was featured in the Radiolab podcast "UnErased" that was used to promote the award winning Movie "Boy Erased" starring Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe, as the subject of the full length, award winning "Mama Bears Documentary", and in the Schitt's Creek Documentary "Best Wishes, Warmest Regards: A Schitt's Creek Farewell."

For more info about Real Mama Bears visit the website realmamabears.org