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Here You Are. Trying

This post is an excerpt from an upcoming devotional for partners of people who are transitioning.


Gender transition is a challenging, fearful, joyous experience for the person undertaking it, and it’s a journey which ultimately can only be done by the individual themself. No one else can do it for them. The process can be isolating and alienating, leaving the trans person feeling intensely alone.

But here you are. Trying.

Not all couples can survive the turbulence which results when a person decides they can no longer live in the ill-fitting disguise of an inaccurate gender assignment. The fact that you’re holding this book means you’ve decided to at least try. That says a lot about you as a person. It shows you’re choosing love over fear, confusion, and pain. It shows you recognize that transition gives your loved one a chance to emerge into the world stronger, happier, and freer than they’ve ever been.

You’ve probably already experienced phases of concern, confusion, and perhaps even shock. You might wonder if you’ll be able to handle the challenges the future holds, or worry that the two of you as a united entity won’t hold up under the pressure.

But here you are. Trying.

Divine love flows down upon you in response to each moment-by-moment choice for love. It burns with joy at your effort. How the future unfolds remains to be seen. But right now, be proud of yourself for even entertaining the possibility of standing with your beloved as they strive to live authentically.

Showing up is a great gift.

Here you are. Trying.

The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time.

Brené Brown


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